Today was a pretty damn good day, I'd say! Evienne and I were upset and confused and a little down yesterday and early this morning. Then after talking some more we soon came to the conclusion that we were both worried that we upset each other, not that we were upset ourselves. She thought I was upset with her, I thought she was upset with me, turns out, I was upset because I thought I upset her, and she was upset because she thought she upset me. Turns out we just wanted to make each other happy.
Once we realized this, we just trusted each other and things got a lot better. I had a wonderful day full of talking to Evienne and we had silly fun picking out wedding rings and children names. Evienne and I talk ALL the time! Every chance I get, I try to talk to her. I care for her a LOT and I want nothing more than to be with her every chance I get. I always hated talking on the phone, but I talk with Evienne for hours on end about nothing at all usually and I thoroughly enjoy that!
Look at this woman closely folks! This is the woman I envision spending the rest of my days with. The woman I look forward to seeing each and every day. The woman I'm truly proud to stand next to and show off to the world. She is my happiness.
She has stripped away the pain I felt deep inside, that lay dormant, corroding my soul. She has shown me so damn much in such a short amount of time, I am eternally grateful to her.
I had to call karate today to let them know what I was doing and what's going on. It was extremely difficult for me to do. I love karate, it's everything to me, it's my life goal, my hopes and my dreams. But in doing that and still feeling so certain I am doing what is right for me, I have proven to myself that I'm strong enough to do what I need in order to be happy. I have shown myself that I'm capable and willing enough to chase my dreams at whatever cost.
The greatest feeling I have right now is one of anxiousness. I'm anxious to get out of here, to be with Evienne, to start a new life in Georgia, to discover and fight for what I want out of life and to never settle for what I've been given. I feel strong and empowered. I feel undefeatable. How can I worry about not being able to have the latest and greatest gadgets or have enough gas money to go on a vacation, when I have to worry about where I'm going to live, how I'm going to survive, or what it'll take to be truly happy. Life is good to me now because I force it to be that way, I'm not taking any more crap from this life and I'm going to fight for what I want...
And I WILL emerge victorious!